Alternative blockbuster titles – Spoiler alert!

I love J.K. Rowling. I love the Harry Potter books. I have, heretofore, been mostly impressed with the Harry Potter movie franchise.

However, the cinematic installment of Goblet of Fire left me supremely disappointed.

There were good points: Fred and George were hilarious, Neville finally got the screen-time he deserves, Ginny had lines (!) and Radiohead rocked. Cedric's death and his father's grief were handled exceptionally well.

My quibble is not with the actors ... they were excellent. Rather, I continue to be amazed with what the film-makers deem obsolete. And fail to understand why the film critics have liked this installment so much more than the others. (88% on www.rottentomatoes.com.)

Chalk me up as an obsessed fan-girl if you will. Take these with a grain of salt, if you must. But I dare you not to agree or add your own to the following list:

• Harry Potter and the Complete Waste of Brilliant British Actors

• Harry Potter and Superfluous Dragon Screen-Time

• Harry Potter and the Deadbeat Godfather (a.k.a. Sirius!Briquette)

• Harry Potter and the Characters Without Motives

• Harry Potter and the Amazing Disappearing Backstory

• Harry Potter and the Non-Canon Hogwarts Staff

• Harry Potter and Important Plot Points Delivered as Throwaway One-Liners

• Harry Potter and The Unexplained Menacing Hedges