"Homer, it's set on whore!"
On of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons is the one in which Homer invents a make-up gun. At one point in the show, he points it at Marge's face and fires, resulting in a very garishly made-up face for Marge.
Who then exclaims: "Homer, it's set on whore!"
I kind of felt like Marge today. I went to The Body Shop before ESL. I had a $25 gift certificate that expired today and they were having a great sale on my facial care products.
Out of sheer lack of willpower, I somehow got myself into a mini makeover.
One of my colleagues at work has a nasty cold, and — of course — chose today to hang around my desk and ask questions. She also asked me to fix something on her computer, which meant I had to touch the mouse she'd been using all day. So immediately afterward I went off to the ladies' room to wash my hands.
For good measure, I washed my face. Just in case I had inadvertently scratched my nose or something. Of course, this effectively removed whatever make-up I had on, so by the time I made it to The Body Shop I was looking less put together than usual.
Now, I don't wear a lot of make-up. I quite prefer the natural look. Usually I wear just foundation, eyeliner and lip stain. My entire morning make-up regimen takes about two minutes.
(I have pink hair, so I don't have to do much to look distinctive.)
So I don't know what got into me when I let the employee at The Body Shop have at my face with myriad brushes and shimmery powders. Perhaps it was that I had some time to kill before class. Or perhaps it was that soothing subliminal music that I'm sure contains messages to buy extravagant items one will never use. It's the same music that in clothing-store dressing rooms croons: "This hideous and exorbitantly expensive (insert item of clothing) makes you look fabulous."
Anyhow, by the time she was done I looked as though I had two black eyes. She said she wanted to try something dramatic with me.
I looked like I'd been in a fist-fight with a lounge act. Even my eyebrows glittered.
Needless to say, I did not purchase any of the products she tried out on me.
Thank goodness I was only off to teach ESL tonight. Had I been off to do anything social, it would have been off to the public restroom to wash my face, again.
On of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons is the one in which Homer invents a make-up gun. At one point in the show, he points it at Marge's face and fires, resulting in a very garishly made-up face for Marge.
Who then exclaims: "Homer, it's set on whore!"
I kind of felt like Marge today. I went to The Body Shop before ESL. I had a $25 gift certificate that expired today and they were having a great sale on my facial care products.
Out of sheer lack of willpower, I somehow got myself into a mini makeover.
One of my colleagues at work has a nasty cold, and — of course — chose today to hang around my desk and ask questions. She also asked me to fix something on her computer, which meant I had to touch the mouse she'd been using all day. So immediately afterward I went off to the ladies' room to wash my hands.
For good measure, I washed my face. Just in case I had inadvertently scratched my nose or something. Of course, this effectively removed whatever make-up I had on, so by the time I made it to The Body Shop I was looking less put together than usual.
Now, I don't wear a lot of make-up. I quite prefer the natural look. Usually I wear just foundation, eyeliner and lip stain. My entire morning make-up regimen takes about two minutes.
(I have pink hair, so I don't have to do much to look distinctive.)
So I don't know what got into me when I let the employee at The Body Shop have at my face with myriad brushes and shimmery powders. Perhaps it was that I had some time to kill before class. Or perhaps it was that soothing subliminal music that I'm sure contains messages to buy extravagant items one will never use. It's the same music that in clothing-store dressing rooms croons: "This hideous and exorbitantly expensive (insert item of clothing) makes you look fabulous."
Anyhow, by the time she was done I looked as though I had two black eyes. She said she wanted to try something dramatic with me.
I looked like I'd been in a fist-fight with a lounge act. Even my eyebrows glittered.
Needless to say, I did not purchase any of the products she tried out on me.
Thank goodness I was only off to teach ESL tonight. Had I been off to do anything social, it would have been off to the public restroom to wash my face, again.
2 Comments:
I can somewhat imagine your adventure... I was going through a box of gift bags trying to pack today, and there was one with this garish eye makeup on one side and bright red lips on the other. Needless to say, it was from the Body Shop. I didn't even know they sold makeup!!
The title of this post amuses me.
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