Underarm Waxing: $17. Confidence: Priceless.

(Tonight's workout CD: Putumayo's: Arabic Groove)

Men, you don't know what you're missing.

Stacy escorted me into one of the salon's back rooms, which was full of posters about the benefits of electrolysis and illustration of hair follicles.

Do you remember Dr. Nick from Simpsons? Imagine what a Dr.-Nick-owned day spa might resemble.

I stared at the cheesy clouds-on-blue-sky ceiling, trying to act as though it was completely normal for Stacy to assess the length of my underarm hair.

"Well, it's not really long enough, but we'll try anyhow," Stacy said. "You should have grown it a little longer for the first time, becasue those follicles have been hanging on to that strand of hair for your whole life, and they're going to be real pissed off. You might have some follicle bleeding afterwards, but that's normal."

Oh, great, I think. Not only has she anthropomorphized my follicles, but they're going to bleed.

Stacy contorted my arm over my head so she could apply the wax.

Not just any wax — mind you — the new experimental wax the salon is testing. It was pink and smelled nice. I think I'll ask for it next time. It took half as many cloth yanks as the blue stuff she tried on the other armpit.

It didn't sting like Stacy predicted. Even after the antiseptic lotion was applied.

"Okay, now, you're going to need to come back in two weeks," Stacy says. "So we can get your second hair cycle."

Two weeks?

Perhaps this is more than I bargained for.