The specific gravity of anger

I've been angry at J. for months, now. I've let out the anger at carefully controlled intervals when no one is watching. It always comes back.

It has weighed me down, made me sleepless, made me destructive and made me tired. It has made me anxious and nervous and not-at-all self-assured. I burst into tears at kind words from a friend.

So I forgave him. Not just to myself, but I wrote him an email saying I was tired of being angry and that I forgave him.

I don't think he deserves forgiveness, but it wouldn't be forgiveness if it was deserved. If Kim Phuc can forgive something so huge, who am I to withhold forgiveness when a sincere apology has been offered.

I feel better. I'm writing this so I remember. This is the tattoo over my heart that says "I am well."

I didn't do it for him. I did it for me.