Funeral for a friend

I couldn't stop crying yesterday. It started at about four at my desk at work. I had to leave by four-thirty to drop off my negs at the photo shop and make it to English class on time.

By the time I reached my car, I was sobbing.

Completely emotionally wrecked.

I cried for my entire commute. I managed to compose myself before running into the photo shop. But by the time I made it home, I was crying again. Huge, primal sobs.

And I realized it wasn't rejection or self-pity.

I kept thinking about how much I'd enjoyed getting to know the letter-writer. How he really is a good guy, and someone I would very much want to be my friend.

And how I'd turned that friendship down.

So I wrote him, and said as much.

I haven't cried since.

And now I wait.